Mom Approved: Being present from the back

Black businesswoman addressing colleagues at a board meeting

This month we’re flipping the script for May dedicating each of our digital Spaces in different ways to celebrate one of the most influential beings on the planet… Moms.

In a season of unveiling, each week Octane founder Danielle Meadows Stinnet shares different perspectives across her own motherhood journey.

6:30am: The alarm sounds.
I rush to the clock. 
Hit snooze. 

I stare up at the ceiling and like my kids fighting sleep in reverse, I stick one leg out inch by inch to creep over the edge of the mattress. With each inch closer to the edge I’m rationalizing what I’m doing before I do it. My feet hit the ground and my day begins.

I remember when early school mornings were cray. Somewhere in the rallying, the pull up, the zip-up, the drive up, the wave and the praying… what Mommy was personally feeling, and what mommy ‘needed to do’ was less and less of a priority.

I hear similar stories transition to the corporate office.

Where women, especially moms in workplace are seen but unheard and devalued in areas that working moms often digress to be prominent in.

From Pew Research analysis, about a quarter of working moms say they have turned down a promotion because they were balancing work and parenting.

On top of that is the household duties of moms that work:

  • Women in a relationship with children are 5.5 times more likely than their male counterparts to do most, if not all, of the household work even when they are the primary income earner (https://www.sengerson.com)
  • When factoring in family duties, the average working mom puts in 98 hours per week (https://www.sengerson.com)

Just thinking about all this slightly elevates my blood pressure. Because most of this action happens behind the scenes, without saying a single word. A symphony of robotic movement equalized to only a base level of optimum results.

This makes me think of my teenage sons between meal times. They almost look at me as if I’m out of line for imposing on there ‘rental space’ just to remind them a household chore that was left incomplete.. let alone tell them how your day went.

We want both. We can do both.

What are ways we can be seen and heard in spaces that need / demand so much of us? Here’s a few thoughts:

  • Communicate – On all fronts. Have a meaningful conversation with yourself, your partner and your kids.
  • Establish Boundaries – This may mean a chore chart or a weekly dinner meal prep from the kids without mom.
  • Honor Your decision – Let go of Mom guilt.
  • Leave Work at Work – Use time saving hacks to ensure your work doesn’t follow you home.
  • Fill Your Own Cup Up First – You can’t help the ones you love without loving on yourself first. Do it, for you. Then do it for others if needed.
  • Find Your Own Fun – Create meaningful family activities to make family time sacred.
  • Lower Your Expectations – Say ‘yes’ to less! You can actually get way more done this way.

At the end of the day there’s no secret sauce or recipe to make you the master of both worlds. Balance looks different per household. The goal is that you keep trying for yourself!

Affirmation Cards For Moms

Need to clear some mental space before practicing the above steps? We’ve got you mama! We have a series of 6 week affirmation cards for moms as a printable you can get right now. Use them for yourself or pass to another mom in need. We know that knowledge is power — spread it around!

Picture of octane


Creative, multi-business owner, published author, wife and mom of 3. Book Danielle to speak at www.daniellemeadowsstinnett.com.

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