I’ve had my fair share of hard falls and slip ups in 2018. I’m ready for a new year of clarity, focus and direction. No time like the present to reflect on how to actually get there than right now before the New Year.
I’m pretty sure there’s no manual, magic oil or incantation that will airlift me from the start line to the finish line. So that just leaves my perseverance, my heart and my mind.
And a pantry of sugar.
These are some general thoughts that I thought might help others in similar sediments to kick butt in 2019!
1. Know that your only competition is who you were yesterday.
Often we can be our own worst enemy. During the holidays I clearly remember having near panic attacks knowing that all the work I do can be done by someone else at any time. What made me special?
Its knowing that I can do *magic* with little to nothing. That I can create well beyond the concept of something and see it completed in a quick turnaround.
The only thing stopping you is you. The real question I find myself asking is: how bad do you want it? Success is a mental stress test and requires lots of additional conditioning to undo some things to learn new things. Sounds cliche but its total truth.
Try to live it out loud. You’re worth it!
2. Earn, save and invest before you spend.
This area is a constant work in progress for me. I grew up with my mom, a senior banker of 33 years for Chase Bank and the three mergers prior to that (thats right all the way back to First Liberty National Bank *mind blown*) and still grew into an adult where none of that stuck.
Truth: I still can’t balance a checkbook unless an app does it for me.
Before I was married I was a single mom to 2 kids under 3 years old in a 500 sqft 1 bedroom apartment living off child support and a hustle. I was living paycheck to paycheck depleting food stamps to the penny each month. I wasn’t saving because every dime went right back out.
I had to want to change first. Then I had to teach myself how to reserve while in survival mode. Starting with nickels and dimes. Start small and build on it.
In order: Earn. Save. Invest. Spend.
I am still teaching myself inner Financial Peace before Dave Ramsey could get a hold of me. I’ve started, emptied and refilled my ‘rainy day fund’ on more than one occasion but now I know how to rebuild it.
- As a business owner and a mom of now three boys, savings and investment is crucial. Real talk: we’re not meant to do this alone. Knowledge is power. Find a local finance resource or even ask for financial recommendations from your social circles. If you don’t have a wealth management professional or a financial advisor of sorts I recommend to find one that works for you.
3. Avoid negativity, life is too short.
Is this not self explanatory? By definition, negativity is, the expression of criticism of or pessimism about something.
Negativity can be things that hold you down. Things or people that are negative do not build you up or inspire you to move. It makes you feel small and often immobile. Trapped.
Did you know that scientific research indicates that negativity is contagious, akin to a cold.
“Feelings circulate in patterns analogous to what’s seen from epidemiological models of disease,” reported Wired.
The effects are drastic. Research has shown that even a small amount of negative brain activity can lead to a weakened immune system, making you more prone to illness, and even lead to a heart attack or a stroke.
Who needs that? Not you.
Note that I didn’t say ignore negativity. This world is imperfect and requires reflective spaces for us to grow from. You need negativity to balance yourself, but not dwell in.
Know when to cut people (even business) off and surround yourself with people that love or at least appreciate your true self.
4. Go after what you want (because you’ll never get it if you don’t).
Man, oh man. This is always a whopper for me as I’m sure for anyone who struggles with fear of failure. I’m constantly plotting / rooting ahead for my kids, for my husband, for my business and lastly with whatever is left in the tank for myself.
I’ve had to make some major changes to that over the past few years and will push even harder in 2019 to stick to. You only get ONE life folks. If you spend your whole life in the “what if” bubble, real life will pass you by.
My oldest son and I are dreamers. We could spend weeks in our own thoughts and dreams of how it would all play out, while in reality abandoning relationships and ignoring opportunities to make the dream real. We often get stuck here not wanting to do the work to make our dreams real because the dream is prettier than the reality of making it happen.
This is a lie.
Life is not about what you don’t have, its about what you DO have.
Want to start that dream business? Do it.
Dreaming of going back to school for that degree? Do it.
Inspired to make impact in others lives? Go do it.
Does it involve change? Of course.
Will it be easy? Prolly not.
Will you want to to give up? Most likely.
But it’s entirely worth the risk.
Don’t walk into your later years with regret. Use each day as an open opportunity/ a gift to do something great.
“It doesn’t do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.” -Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter
5. See failure as a new beginning and not a short end.
I clearly remember sharing with a fellow Partnered Vendor this past year to not fear failure because it’s the beginning of something else.
Real Talk: all things end. It’s how much you positively nurture yourself in between the ebb and flow of your failure that will depict your real success.
Fell down? Get up, dust it off, keep it moving.
As my beloved Aunt Shirley would say: NEXT!
6. Mind your habits for it directs your future.
Again more advice for myself indefinitely. I find myself nit picking at lots of bad habits this time of year. I even wrote them down:
- On Phone After Hours
- Comparison to Others
- Fast Food Line
- Over thinking
Can you relate? Each one of these stem from a consistent action that doesn’t benefit me spiritually, emotionally or physically. It could easily define my next 5 years..
Staying on my electronics after hours leads to less family time with people I love especially my married time (apparently we’re above the national average of people who have sex in 2018, so I’ve got that going for me).
Comparing myself to others dismantles my self esteem to stand against the grain and be my true self without consequence of opinion or judgement.
Fast food will kill me. Literally.
Over thinking diminishes my personal faith that God already has his best intentions for me and that by attempting to play Him, I’m playin’ myself.
Make new habits in 2019 that allow you to grow taller in the virtues that matter most to you.
- Make a plan
- Set goals
- Stay firm with your boundaries
- Start small
- Take in the moment
- Hold yourself accountable through others or support group
Wishing you every success in 2019 personally and professionally!