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The Obligatory Birthday Post

Transparent Moment: My birthday is today and I’m honestly in my feels. Days I’m so filled with purpose and others I want to never leave my bed. I’ve felt attacked all month by trial and circumstance to not feel worthy of celebrating myself, my success or my life.

#TrueFact: I get this way every birthday. It’s like my emotional purging before I make that uphill climb to being a strategic badass. I’ve been told this process is quiet normal for strong creatives. This time, you get to read through my process…

Feel Your Feelings

  • I’ve felt unvalued.
  • I’ve felt depressed & sometimes isolated or contained.
  • I feel unworthy.

See The Good

But I know (from the foundation of Christ) that on the other side of all this fear and anxiety is JOY (and peace).

  • Joy in knowing I’m alive today & I get to see others that love just as hard.
  • Joy in knowing others care and share in the positivity of healing others in the smallest ways.
  • Joy in knowing God loves me and that’s GREATER then the immediate satisfaction of the previous two joys…

My life is far from perfect. I struggle with the best of them. I’m living proof that God wrestles tirelessly in this realm. God is fighting for my good even when I don’t feel good in this season.

Reflections

Birthdays are hard because it forces me to look at things that aren’t always pretty. I feel guilt about things I woulda/ coulda/ shoulda done. But that is what also makes my life extremely rich and beautiful.

My life has been an ebb and flow of experiencing the best and worst of myself. As I’ve built my business I’ve also made eternal friendships and built foundations that could’ve only happened the way it did.

I’m incredibly grateful for each of you that have spoken wisdom and truth into my life. To my clients and friends that have gifted me direction and clarity this past year; thank you. 

Hoping this next year reveals even deeper planting for my life, my business and everything in between.

Happy Birthday to this beautiful mess.

#MSfamily #joy #PlantSeeds #seasons


NOTE: Depression is very real and can affect your everyday life. If you or anyone you love is experiencing signs of depression, seek professional help, offer this natural remedy article.

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Octane Presents: The LexParty Project

“Just get the idea out so you don’t have to worry/stress about it anymore.”

I’ve recently listened to the words and advice of Tim Jones, Creative Director of Cornett at a local networking event at Pivot Brewing and this specific one stuck.

I love crafting. The idea of uplifting others is always a core denominator for me. But this specific idea keeps recirculating in my heart and I can’t keep holding onto it anymore!

Time to get it out!

Since the adoption of our son in 2012 I’ve gone the extra mile to make sure his little moments were just as meaningful as the big ones. I’ve seen countless unique birthday project organizations outside of Kentucky for foster kids and newly relocated families. At first I started crafting a few cards to parents that mentioned there child didn’t have any friends show up at birthday parties or a newly moved family that was just getting settled and the kid(s) needed some encouragement.

These moments resonate with anyone at some point in there life. And with all the wordly pressure to “fit in” I figure a few sheets of glitter and cardstock can make an impact with others in a dark or lonely place. Put that next to an amazing cake or a cool gift card and you’ve got a few extra smiles that wouldn’t have come any other way.

Keywords here: Positive. Vibes. Only.

So look out Kentucky! I’m rolling up my sleeves and partnering with multiple organizations across the Bluegrass to form The LexParty Project. A simple way to ‘pay it forward’ and inspire others! Click below for info or fill out the form to send a kid some encouragement in Kentucky.

Check it out here! 

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On The Last Day: You Were There

To the parents of students receiving school awards but were not present — you were there.

Let’s face it… with elementary aged kids the last day of school is EPIC, right? Most of the last week of school is filled with end of the year accolades to further boost their esteem for summer break.

Today I got dressed extra early just to get to school two hours after I dropped my kids off to watch them receive special recognition at the end-of-the-year school awards.

I got there 20 minutes early to grab a decent seat. This year the award ceremony seemed faster than before. I watched each student receive an award and receive applause from peers and the gathered assembly.

There were smile’s and cheers. There were kids that were told to stand still for pictures with their teachers.

But there were also students that received their award and quietly sat back down in the gym.  Whether by accident or design they there was no extra picture taking or parental hugs or pats on the back. No matter what direction they looked.

And that is OK too.

It’s OK for kids to understand the importance of work ethic. It is important for children to see their mothers put in hours so that they can value higher achievement and future opportunities.

As mothers we can’t be everywhere all the time. But we can celebrate the milestones in our own way.

So whether or not you were present at the school assembly is irrelevant. Because you were there along the way helping them to success.

You were there for homework time banging your head against the table for them to finish the worksheets. You were there when you got the discouraging teacher phone call from school about your child’s class behavior. You were there when they brought home the A+ spelling test.

You were present when they ask you questions about life. You responded when they acted out of pain and anger. You comforted them on their darker days. You help them to prioritize things that matter.

All of these things are greater achievements than sitting in a chair for 30 minutes. In this self bubbling world it is our obligation to keep our children planted in the things that matter. Do not succumb to the customs and behaviors of this world. (Romans 12:2)

To the parents of students receiving school awards but were not present — you were there right there with them, dancing/smiling /fist pumping in the place that matters most— their hearts.

Go get’em 🙂

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Mamas: You Are Enough

Mother’s Day is always a little harder for me.  Not because I’ve lost people that were mother figures for me but mainly because the idea of being tied down to something other than myself gave me a negative connotation about motherhood.

In college I was a fiery young liberal who never wanted to have kids because I spent so much of  my youth surrounded by my pool of cousins that I became “responsible” for, for summers on end.

I look back at my own childhood and constantly thought of how much my own mother ‘toted” us from one community event to another …  never really knowing what was happening just tagging along in a never-ending cycle of “one more thing” that I had to smile / sing / stand / sit / be quiet for. It didn’t matter how noble the cause… I didn’t feel a part of it.

I swore with my first child that I would not do what my mom did to me. Three kids later I’ve softened my approach but still, its a goal. Each child has taught me something different about myself and about the world around me.

When I look back on Mother’s Day a lot of times I see the short falls, the disappointment and even past relationship resentment before I can even begin to see the smiles of birthdays, Christmas baking or the deep unconditional hugs in our random lazy weekend chats.

The week leading up to Mother’s Day this year was rougher then usual. Kids bickering, demands of my career and all the household shuffle in between. But that’s what we do right? As ‘wonderwomen’ we put on this mask that we can truly do it all without hesitation. Every. Day.

Let me be the first to admit: I’m human.  And in being human in this self prophesying world we tend to drink our own kool-aid. At times we feel we need to out perform even ourselves to justify doing more for our children. To justify our legacy in this temporary world. We feel less than even when the bible tells us differently.

Because of my family’s foundation of faith I always use the quick spiritual guides, inspirational words and faithful thoughts of the day to help root my day in the spirit to which gifted me this opportunity of the blended family life.

I just went from me, to Him in one sentence y’all.

And in that shift I constantly have to reinforce my own insecurities of being enough. I am enough. It’s hard just typing it here.

I’m still learning.

In being a birth mom and a adopted mother I have learned to parent in ways that I thought was not possible for me. I believe it was the Holy Spirit disciplining me just as much as I was disciplining them. Teaching me patience and compassion. Molding my anger and frustrations into peace.

In this instantaneous culture I’ve come to find the mysterious rooted ebb & flow of peace throughout parenting my beautiful children along side my amazing ‘ford tough’ husband. And it brings me to share this post about being enough. Because we are.

We don’t have to be everything for everyone… we just have to carry on what God sees in us. And that alone allows God to carry the ones we love.

That’s all my mom was trying to do. And I’m grateful that I get to pass that on to my children.

To all the moms / aunts / grandmas /  caregivers / neighbors / foster moms / etc in the whole world… you are enough. ❤️

Bask in it today! #happymothersday

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Easter Therapy: It. Is. Finished.

Finally…The finished product. For days I attempted to put something in this blank canvas. I asked for prayer and then it just flowed out of me as we approached Easter. It was meant as a social media giveway for Easter. As I read and reflected on the Torah during Lent the word ‘Panim’ kept replaying in my mind as I stared into the blank leafy canvas. What does it mean you ask? Panim is a Hebrew term meaning “to face” or to stand in presence of (referring to God).

The leaves transported me to the beauty of The Garden of Eden. Calm and serene. Lush and bountiful. I could feel His presence there. The more I studied Panim the more I was beginning to understand that this painting/ artwork /therapy  wasn’t meant for me to giveaway… it was meant for me treasure. What a beautiful reminder of the presence of God all around me. Inside me. Inside my children. Inside my Husband. Inside anyone.

Over the past months I felt a little lost. I had a miscarriage. I was pushing to lose weight (not knowing I was pregnant– yikes). I felt career pressure. My older kids were acting out …. and up. A lot of times I felt like retreating but didn’t really know where else to retreat. I talk to God and my husband daily but it felt like, at times, neither of them could really handle ‘one more thing’ from me. I assumed wrong.

I believe this was a spiritual reminder that all I need do, is seek Panim.

Wherever you are in process of Gods presence in your life, know that His presence is all around you. He overcame DEATH for you. His love runs deeper then the temporary fixes of today and tomorrow. Your burdens, are His too.

My hubby and I refer to our children as our ‘greatest adventures’. Deep down no matter what “short change moment” we feel we endure we know that Our Father’s greatest adventure, is always us.

For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you?
-1 Thessalonians 2:19

#MSfamily #HappyEaster #Panim